


Even the Memory of Magic

by ahallister



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: F/F, M/M, Magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-03-19
Packaged: 2018-01-15 21:57:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1320613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahallister/pseuds/ahallister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An offhand comment from Olaf sets Anna on a grand quest to regain the true memories of her childhood, and perhaps something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction, the characters are all ™ Disney and I claim no ownership thereof. This story is for entertainment purposes only, so please do not read if likely to be offended by the subject material.

"Nnnnnope! This isn't where I was born at all. Oh, I remember it like it was just yesterday. Except you were really, really little, and so was Elsa, and it definitely wasn't yesterday! Oh, and there were windows way up high, and the moonlight shone down in a big letter V, and there was ice everywhere, and best of all, it was snowing inside, just like it does everywhere I go now!" Olaf grinned and pointed up at the little snow flurry that now followed him everywhere.

Anna spent half the day searching the castle for a room matching Olaf's description. It couldn't have been her room, nor Elsa's, nor the gallery filled with all the paintings she still found herself talking to, which was certainly huge with windows that were 'way up high', but they were all square panes, running in straight lines. No luck in the library either, and the tall windows of the dining room looked more like a Roman numeral three. And then she happened upon the ballroom, which seemed a bust too at first, as all she saw were the square pools of light from the sun outside in a grid on the floor. But then she saw it: an upside-down V on the far wall, the light shining in through the highest windows in the room, which would surely look like a V on the floor when the moon was high in the night sky.

It took Anna a while to find the key to the ballroom, especially now that none of the doors in the castle were being locked. Having obtained the little iron key and quietly slipping it into the hole and turning it, Anna checked that the door to the grand ballroom was now properly locked, then nervously made her way out into the middle of the deserted room. She felt a momentary twinge of guilt at having locked the door, violating the very open door policy she had so deeply desired for years, but she really didn't want to be interrupted. This was all Olaf's fault anyway, so she'd blame him if her sister should wander along and try to enter the locked ballroom before Anna was done.

Spinning around in a circle, taking in every detail of the vast space, Anna closed her eyes and tried to imagine the room filled with her sister's ice and snow. She remembered that she had rolled up the large ball of snow that formed the core of Olaf's body, but that Elsa had done all the real work of shaping him. She remembered… something just out of reach. Her head throbbed with the effort, but she knew there was more to the memory, and that something was definitely missing. Falling to her knees, she tried with all her might to conjure whatever memory it was that she had forgotten, but it seemed gone entirely. How could she have such vivid memories up to a point, and then nothing? Sure, there were lots of things from her childhood she had only vague memories of, things she barely even remembered, but the things she did remember, especially every treasured moment she had spent with her sister, were always so clear. Or at least she had thought so.

A loud series of knocks sounded from the doors, and the voice of Kai, the household steward, could be heard from the far side, "Princess Anna? Are you in there?"

She sighed and pushed herself back up to her feet, "Just a moment." She gazed around the room and then went over to the great oak doors, turning the key to unlock them, admitting the large, elderly man, who immediately began explaining that there would be a state dinner she would be expected to attend that evening. Nodding along as she tried in vain to listen, she finally interrupted to ask, "Kai? Did… did Elsa ever… um, that is, when we were very little, did she ever make snow and ice inside the castle? Like, say, here in the ballroom?"

Kai coughed and tried to avoid directly answering the question, despite her being princess and first in line to the throne now should… but no, she couldn't even think of such a horrible thing. After most of a minute of him talking around the subject, Anna held up a hand, "Our parents told you not to talk about it, and, for whatever reason, either Elsa told you to continue, or you've never told her." Just as his careful avoidance of a straight answer had told her volumes, so too did his silence. She would have to go straight to Elsa, since Kai, embarrassed as he was at having been read so easily, wasn't becoming any more forthcoming now that she knew what was up.

She found her sister in their father's old study, which, Anna supposed, was now her sister's study, though her sister looked so very small and delicate in the massive chair, behind the equally massive desk, where a frost-coated glass half-filled with an amber liquid she hoped was only cider sat next to a large stack of letters, only a handful of which seemed to have been opened. And behind the desk, chair, and her sister… a large window looking just like the inverted V in the ballroom. Another room Olaf could have been describing, though the window wasn't very high up, and this didn't seem like a room they'd have been playing in. "Um, Elsa? I don't know if this is a good time, but there's something I'd really like to talk to you about."

Elsa smiled and looked up at Anna, looking glad for an excuse to further postpone reading the letters, "My door is always open now, Anna. Is it about the state dinner? Don't worry, you can slip out early after making an appearance, it's just a formality for some new cabinet members and other appointments, I know you hate formal events."

Anna blushed at her sister knowing her so well, but shook her head, "No, no, not about that, I, um, that is." She fidgeted nervously, not wanting to phrase this wrong, "I was talking to Olaf, and something he said made me question certain, um, memories." She took a deep breath, "Did we ever play in the grand ballroom when we were children? With um, with you perhaps using your powers to make it snow inside?"

Elsa's eyes widened, and then a very guilty expression crossed her face, "I didn't think he would remember that… he wasn't even alive then." She sighed, looked at the door, and Anna could see her resist the desire to request that the door be closed for privacy, so she closed it herself.

"It's okay to have privacy now and then, Elsa." Anna blushed at the thought of some of the specific things she would unquestionably prefer to keep private, and then at the thought of whether Elsa was keeping her door open even for things of that… particular nature.

Her sister seemed much relieved to have the matter decided though, her voice dropping to a quiet whisper, "Yes, Anna, we did play in there. You always had trouble sleeping whenever the sky was alive with the Northern Lights, and would sneak into my room to play." Her expression was clearly pained, but she soldiered on, "Until one night, the very night we made Olaf, when I…" Elsa turned away, unable to meet Anna's eyes, "It was an accident, I swear."

Anna blinked, then remembered Kristoff's comment after she had left Elsa's ice palace on the North Mountain, a hand straying up towards her hair, which had been pure red ever since being thawed by her sister's act of love, rather than the kiss she had expected, "The lock of white hair I always used to have… just like how all my hair turned white after…" Anna's eyes widened, and she understood, "You… did you hit me with your powers? Grand Pabbie… the troll leader, he said something about heads versus hearts, did you hit me in the head?"

Tears were starting to well up in Elsa's eyes at the memory, but she managed to nod, turning back in an effort to look Anna in the eye, however blurry her vision must be, little ice crystals starting to form on the great big leather chair she was sitting in, the air in the room chilling.

Vaulting over the massive desk rather than take a couple extra seconds to walk around, Anna wrapped her arms around her sister in a tight hug, heedless of the cold, "It was an accident! It wasn't your fault, and you don't need to blame yourself! I don't blame you, any more than I do for… well… turning me to ice. Accidents happen all the time, like with the cake for Coronation Day, even though I have no idea how that happened! And, I mean, if I hadn't become magical ice, Hans' sword would have gone right through me and I'd be dead, and probably you too, so it all worked out, right?" She was sure she was just babbling, but it sounded right enough, and the important thing was to reassure her sister.

Elsa just sobbed against Anna's shoulder, returning the hug and clinging to her younger sibling. Perfectly unbecoming of a queen, but then, the door was closed, and if there was anyone Elsa trusted, it was Anna. "I'm so sorry, we should have talked about this days ago, I had no right to keep this from you. I promised to open all the doors, but…"

Anna placed a finger against Elsa's lips and shook her head again, "It's okay. I understand, and I forgive you. I can't even imagine what it must have been like for you." Then she was silent again, just holding her sister in a tight hug, desperately begging for this not to change things after everything had been so good ever since Hans was shipped back to the Summer Isles in chains. Elsa had been so happy, and they'd spent so much time together, catching up, Anna didn't want to lose that for anything.

The silence was broken by Elsa, whose whisper was so soft at first even she couldn't hear it, and she had to start anew, "After… after my powers hit you, I called for mother and father, and father said he knew what to do. He went straight to the library, found a book, and pulled out a map. Then we all set off on horseback, even though it was the middle of the night, and we didn't even have guards, just the four of us. We rode for the longest time it seemed, and then we stopped in a clearing, and rocks started rolling towards us, and… I guess they were the same trolls you met with Christopher…"

"Kristoff."

Elsa rolled her eyes at Anna's correction, "Sorry, Kristoff. Anyway, their leader, maybe even the same Grand Pabbie, looked you over, and said he could fix you, but only because it was your head, and that he'd have to take all the magic from you, even memories of it. It seemed cruel, but… I'd have done anything to have you well again. I felt so guilty, for years… and… I guess now you know the real reason I was so scared to open my door, not to hide my powers, but because… oof!"

Anna's hug was so tight as to threaten Elsa's ability to breathe, but she relented soon enough, "I wish I had known sooner, I'd have forgiven you a thousand times. A million times! I love you, Elsa. More than anyone! It was all an accident, and you sacrificed so much." Anna sighed, then shifted to squeeze into the chair next to her sister, the massive chair just barely big enough to accommodate them both, "Um, you don't suppose he could restore them, do you? My memories?"

Elsa looked surprised at the question, but slipped one arm behind Anna, awkwardly hugging her from the side and leaning her head against Anna's shoulder, "I don't know. And, and I'm glad to know you forgive me. It doesn't make everything all better, I'll probably never stop feeling guilty, but, it feels much better to not have this still weighing my chest down like an anvil." Silence returned to the room for a minute, and then Elsa whispered, "If you want to skip the dinner tonight, I'll ask Kai to send a couple guards with you, keep you safe…"

Anna interrupted again, shaking her head, "It's okay, I think Kristoff is in town, he'll keep me safe, and he knows the way better than I do." She mimicked her sister's awkward hug and planted a kiss against Elsa's cheek, "But thank you for being so worried about my safety." She slipped out from between Elsa's arms to stand up, "And seriously, it's okay to have a bit of privacy now and then. You don't need to leave the door open all the time if, you know…" She blushed furiously and then quickly retreated out of the room before her sister could piece together what she had meant.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction, the characters are all ™ Disney and I claim no ownership thereof. This story is for entertainment purposes only, so please do not read if likely to be offended by the subject material.

Anna had sprinted through the halls, nimbly dodging around various members of the castle staff as she hurried back to her room. Her mind had similarly raced, as she tried to figure out what had possessed her to say something so suggestive and sexual to her own sister. Of course Elsa wouldn't leave her door open if she were doing... that. Why, as prim and proper as her sister was, Anna wasn't even sure Elsa would indulge in such a carnal manner in the first place. By the time she had reached the door to her room, Anna's first priority was simply to stop thinking about her sister in such a manner, and she quickly lost herself in the banal tedium of changing outfits.

It hadn't taken her long to change, doffing the dress in favour of something more suitable for riding, especially a nice pair of boots. She'd heard that French ladies would often ride side-saddle so as to accommodate a 'proper' dress, but Anna had never seen what they found so scandalous about pants. Still, changing gave her time to sway her mental state away from her sister, as well as time to start worrying that Kai might find out and try to persuade her sister into changing her mind. State dinners were ever so boring, and her sister still kept making her do all the dancing with dignitaries, even though she now knew Elsa was perfectly capable of dancing.

Kai would not find Anna so easy to dissuade though, as her heart was now set on recovering her original memories. Just the very thought that the cherished recollections of playing with Elsa as a child might all be false brought her such heartache. She loved her sister dearly, and Elsa deserved to be loved for real memories, not ones altered by some troll, even as seemingly nice and well-meaning of a troll as Grand Pabbie. And besides, those were memories of Elsa's first attempts to control and use her powers! Anna would never admit how jealous she sometimes felt these days, that Elsa should have such powers, but then Anna would be reminded of how easily distracted she could be, and how horrible it might be if a moment's distraction resulted in the death of Kai, Gerda, or worse yet, Elsa.

Thinking about how much more responsible and controlled her older sister was just brought to the fore of Anna's mind how terribly impulsive this sudden expedition was. Right to the point of foolishness even, with no guarantee that Kristoff would agree to come, and what harm could there have been in letting a pair of guards tag along in case of wolves? She shivered against the memory of being chased by that pack and pulled on a warm coat. Anna was still amazed she'd managed to keep herself so together and bash one wolf in the head with... oh gosh, the lute! She'd never even gotten around to replacing Kristoff's lute, just his sled, and really that was mostly her sister's doing. He hadn't once mentioned it in the past few weeks since the whole fiasco after the coronation, but surely such a thoughtful gift would make up for her asking to go see his family on such short notice!

Her old stallion snorted and tried to bite at the pocket containing the apple she'd snatched from the kitchens, but she skirted around the stall, "Oh no, you coward, you're still grounded for abandoning me!" Apparently nobody else had even tried riding him since, as she'd been the only one he'd deigned to allow to even saddle him up. She strode past though and instead offered the apple to a mare she'd taken to riding ever since he had bolted on her, reaching for the latch to enter the stall just as the stable master and a hand ran up, breathless.

"Princess Anna! What a surprise! We *huff* had no idea you'd be going for a ride today!" They immediately began helping her saddle the mare, much to Anna's silent relief. "Who will be accompanying you today? I can get their horses sad-"

"Nobody. I'm going in to town and then for a short ride, and Queen Elsa gave me her permission to go alone." She could see their dubious expressions, and had no doubt the stable master would go check with Kai, who would be mortified, but she also knew he'd received a thorough chewing out after her stallion had returned without her the night of the coronation, and had special cause to be worried about her safety.

The long causeway between the castle and Arendelle proper gave her a chance to look out at the harbour, where most of the town's fleet was out at sea, trawling for fish or collecting traps filled with tasty crabs. The streets were mostly empty, since ice harvesters like Kristoff plied their trade by night and slept during the day, and the loggers wouldn't return home until evening.

Still there were the children in the yard of the schoolhouse, and the grocers at the town's oper-air market, so there were still people for her to wave to as she rode through town, stopping first at the little shop that sold musical instruments. Anna had heard that decades ago, before she'd been born, the master craftsman who owned the shop had made a grand piano for her mother and father, but she'd never taken an interest in learning to play.

Dismounting and stepping inside, Anna was surprised how few instruments there were for sale. She'd been expecting enough to equip an entire orchestra, but there was barely a handful aside from a small selection of flutes and rustic-style pipes. At least there was a lute, but she only spotted it nestled away on a shelf behind the counter because there was so very little else to see. "Um, uh, hello?"

"I'll be just a minute, dearie." The floorboards creaked and an elderly man with a cane hobbled on into the room from in back. Adjusting his glasses, his eyes widened and he exclaimed while bowing deeply, "Oh my! Princess Anna! What brings you here? Is something the matter with the piano finally, after all these years?"

Shaking her head and pointing up at the lute, Anna admitted, "I haven't any idea how the piano is, to be honest, I was actually hoping to purchase a lute, and I see you actually have one in stock!"

His gaze followed her finger to the instrument in question, and he seemed to deflate, "Oh, ah, yes, I see, um, well..." He pressed his fingertips together and hemmed and hawed a bit longer, "I suppose, for the royal family, I can always make an exception." He hobbled his way over, pulled out a small stepladder, then carefully climbed up to remove the lute from its high perch, "I don't get many commissions, but then, it's not every day one has a chance to sell to a princess."

Anna blinked, "Wait, what? Commission?" She looked at the lute, truly a beautiful work of art far beyond the one that had ended its life smashing into a wolf's head, "You mean that someone had ordered this? Oh, I couldn't possibly..." She held up her hands and shook her head, "I'll just have to commission one of my own!"

"Oh nonsense!" The old man pushed the lute forward, "I'll not have it said I made our beloved princess wait like a mere commoner! Twas only some blonde-haired youth, name of Erik, who commissioned this. He can surely wait a couple weeks more to start serenading sweethearts. He'll understand."

Anna wasn't entirely convinced, but she pulled out her coin purse and began counting out coins, not sure what a reasonable price might be, but always sure that she was either underpaying or overpaying, because the townsfolk never seemed eager to haggle with her. "Um, if it isn't enough, I can always send Master Kai with more." She stacked more than a dozen gold coins on the counter, all she had in her purse except for the ones that were merely silver.

The man's eyes bulged, and he quickly pushed the lute into her hands and waved a hand, "Oh, no, that shan't be necessary."

She sighed, realizing all too late that she'd clearly overpaid, but then, for a present for Kristoff, surely it was worth it. Accepting the lute, she bowed to the old man and offered a simple thanks before turning to leave, taking care as she mounted up so as not to damage the lute. Kristoff's humble little abode was located on the far side of the sleepy little town though, so it would have been silly to walk her horse all that way.

A thin wisp of smoke was rising from the lonely cabin nestled among the trees at the edge of town, indicating Kristoff was probably in, and she spied Sven nibbling away at a pile of carrots, which confirmed it. Dismounting and whispering soothingly for her mare to stay put, Anna approached the door, took a deep breath as she collected her thoughts, then reached out to knock, only to find Sven between her and the door. "Sven! Come on, move, I'm here to see Kristoff." She tried several times to manoeuvre around the big, smelly reindeer, and finally succeeded for long enough to knock. The voice which called out from inside was not Kristoff's though, "Come back tomorrow, the ice is all sold out for today!" Frowning and trying to peer inside the dusty window with the shades drawn, she heard what could only be Kristoff chiding someone in the very sort of playful tone that if Anna was honest with herself, had always been missing from their burgeoning relationship.

Gulping and hoping that there was nothing amiss, yet suddenly suspecting otherwise, especially since Sven was still trying to keep her from the door, she knocked a second time, this time rapping on the windowpane and calling out, "Kristoff? It's me, Anna." She mentally admonished herself, of course he would know who it was, they'd been seeing each other for weeks. He was practically courting her now, wasn't he?

What followed was a string of curses in more languages than Anna had ever learned to speak, and then the door opened, a shirtless stranger with the most gorgeous locks of platinum-blonde hair and dreamy blue eyes poking his head out, "Oh my, the princess?" His brilliantly sapphire eyes then wandered down to settle on the lute held in her hand and narrowed into a hard, steely gaze as he exclaimed accusingly, "How did you... where did you... that is not yours!"


End file.
